Trying to work through things can be tough. Like, really tough. It is hard to find any inspiration when you lack motivation. I like that people try to say the right things or make you feel better by telling you, “Things will get better.”
I spend so much time wondering… Will things get better? I have been waiting for what seems like forever. I don’t enjoy anything I used to love. The only thing or people that are any good are people who IÂ hate less than everyone else.
Sorry I don’t have anything more uplifting or logical today. Praying for things to get better.
-A
Heavy Heart, Light Hand 
Anhedonia is a wicked bitch. The “people I hate less” comment struck a chord with me. Rather than creating a gratitude journal and trying to blow sunshine, I simply created a list called “Things that don’t suck”. I am somehow able to add 1-3 things per day to that list no matter how little motivation I have or how bad things seem to get. Reflecting on the list over time somehow helps me through the really bad days.
Today’s things that don’t suck:
– random strangers willing to post comments on my blog
– chocolate fudge
– absolute silence
I won’t tell you to wait for things to get better. I’ll simply tell you, you have to keep making decisions as if they will. Focus on the process and not the result. It’s all you can do.
End of ramble.
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Thank you for your comment and your encouragement. I appreciate your openness and also that you are willing to embrace the anhedonia instead of pushing it away. I think I can commit to a list of “Things that don’t suck.” Today’s things that don’t suck include:
-My dog didn’t destroy the house while I was at work
-I got to see some of those “people I hate less than everyone else”
-I got my first comment ever on my blog 🙂
Thanks for the comment and putting a small smile on my face.
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We have to start with the small victories 🙂
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